wilson_seng

2011-02-17T09:53:00.001-08:00

once again my tears dropping while i looking back the pic that i took with my grandpa on fb.i loss control, i feel that im so weak, failed at dealing with my emotions. sometimes i will try not to think of him, because i scare i will cry again. now i only realize that i like to cry. yesterday i dreamt abt him. he was talking in my dream. i heard his voice. he is juz alive inside my dream. it was so real! i was crying in the dream. by the time i woke up my eyes were moisture. i miss him so much, i miss him to talk to me, i miss him to laugh at me, i miss him to tell his story to me, i miss whatever he had done to me. so sorry grandpa, tat day i din accompany u to see doctor though i woke up but i was lazy laid on the sofa. my sister asked me to go but i refused. im so terrible. so sorry. i cant forgive myself. i was so wrong. im late. i like to drag. the day before u leave i wanted to come and visit you but i was abt 10pm, i was on the way to go. but mummy said it is late, grandpa is sleeping visit him next morning. i was so stupid! once again im late!!!!i late for every thing. so sorry, im sorry to u, im so sorry to myself. im so regret now. though how sorry m i, i still cant get bak to time. my head is so painful now.i want to rest.

2011-02-15T11:28:00.001-08:00

How deep is your love? Or how deep is my love? I really don’t know. But I just know that I love you. I trust myself, I trust my feelings, I trust you, all in all I rely on my intuition. I’m very keen in everything that I did to u and your feedback. I will analyze your feedback and know what you expect from me or what u dislike. I know you will try your best to spare ur time to talk to me. U will never say no whenever I requested u to on msn. I know u r busy for many things, especially study. Some more, u have to deal with me. I hope that I am not your burden. I will try my best to make u happy by telling you my interesting story. In fact, you can know me more deeply. I’m very happy that I could find someone to share my story too, as long as u willing to hear. I like to receive your SMS. I was very surprised that you SMS me. I feel extremely happy to chat with you via SMS. I like you to ask me question. I hope I can solve all your problems. Seriously, you control my mood. I happy because of you and I emo is also because of you. Sometimes I feel that you are so cool to me. But no matter what reaction u give I will just receive. Cuz it is better than nothing. When u give me the words ‘don’t think too much’, i will automatically think it much. Cuz I am thinking why you ask me not to think too much. Why will you say these words to me? Or maybe is there anything goes wrong within you n me? But when I can feel you are happy, I will not think too much. Cuz I know you are happy, that’s it. Happy is what I want you to be.
p.s. love to chat with you.

2011-02-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

I love you. I wish we could be together. I hope you can be my another half by filling up my empty space. sorry for making u angry.

2011-02-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

today is the 1st day of Chinese New Year 2011. This is the first time i celebrate with the absence of my grandpa. During the middle of the night, at around 3 o'clock, i saw a small brown coloured butterfly flew all the way round in my living room while i was alone there watching tv. this is not my first time watching this kind of butterfly flying in my house. i do believe that the appearance of butterfly is the sign of my grandpa coming home and visit us. since i was a little child, my grandpa used to tell me that whatever insect that is rarely appeared in house is appearing someday, the insect represents the soul of ancestor. this believing is comforted me whenever i see the butterfly coming home. when this happens i will always look at the butterfly until it disappears within my sight. In this time it comes and goes in between 10 minutes. it reminded me of grandpa and made me to miss him a lot.

during night at around 11, i saw a msg from my college friend on facebook. i was being acknowledged that my sem 2 results had come out. i immediately logged in my college's student portal and check it out and my heart beat was simultaneously getting stronger and faster. there was a maximum rush of adrenaline inside my body by the time my finger pressed into 'results and performance'. But, thanks god! i was very satisfied with my results which are far from my expectation. i got 5A's and 2B+'s with the cgpa 3.81 and current outstanding 2/26. breathed a sigh of satisfaction, this could be the best Chinese New Year gift for me and i believed it indicates a good start for 2011. If as usual, one of the very first person that i will share my good news at the very first moment will be my grandpa. when i came home from my granny house i hide myself in my room and i started to recall the memories of those time i shared my results with him. i know i could make him proud of being my grandpa by having me as his grandson. Our ever last results celebration is my first-ever college's results. It happened in the mid of 2010. every celebration that we had gone through together is still a vivid picture inside me. starts from now, i will be forever lacking him to celebrate all my victories and happiness. In spite of that, i will still give all my best in every attempt because i want him to be proud again.

2011-01-31T10:37:00.000-08:00

when i write about a new post i don't know what title should i put, and sometimes i think that the title had narrowed down the scope that i wanted to write. so i will just leave it to be empty. i want it to be free. freestyle is the best way of blogging for me. write whatever i wanted to write no rules no format at all!

i want to recap what i had said and promised to this blog--turn it to a love blog. now, the mission of you for being a love blog had completed. let's take a break! i wanna rejuvenate myself! i want to be revived!

seriously, my sem break of about 3months is monumentally nonsense, what the hell i can do to fill up these freaking humdrum holidays?! actually i used to online every day especially midnight until morning. whenever i feel bored i will find my friends to chat but when we chat overtime i'll think that what we talked are a little bit unnecessary. i find u guys to chat for few hours is to killing time or can be said as wasting time. now i hate this kind of lifestyle, it is totally unhealthy! but what to do? im too reliable on u guys. whenever i bored, happy, unhappy, whatever feeling i had gone through i will just ring u all up and talk talk talk talk talk.....i will think that am i not independent enaugh and so i need someone to share. i have to manage my talk time from now on. by the way, a big thanks for those whom i shared with.

whenever i feel so demotivating of downgrading i will discipline myself to do something more making sense. since then i started to surf internet for something that related to language in order to brush up my english studies. im a die-hard fan of macmillan online dictionary. this website is awesome! for me this dictionary is pretty useful and it helps me a lot! most importantly it is complimentary which means free of charge! trust me i learned most of the vocabularies there. in fact, i got a hard copy of this dictionary at home whom my home tutor bought it for me when i was in form 4.

other than dictionary, i also found a quite interesting english learning website which is http://www.englishclub.com/ im so glad that i found this because i could find some business related sources there. for example, business letter, meeting tips, presentation skills, negotiation skills and so on. so i try it on as self-learning programme. im keen that what i really want and wanted to be. although i had chosen my talent and main interest as the path of my further studies but i will not give up my ambition from becoming a successful business man. it's undeniable that i have a big interest on business but im not born to business, therefore i need to strive hard to accomplish those difficult tasks to reveal my dreams. All in all, 'business' is what i truly need in the future but i can't just waste my god-given talent and whole-heartedly move into business.i wanted to be versatile in between arts and business! maybe there are people who think that i'm averice and greedy and this would not likely to succeed, but why not? since i like both, why not i try to develop them simultaneously though it needs much more efforts. according to my point of view, what i paid off is just a little bit more of sacrification.

all the best to my studies and my future-to-be!

2011-01-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

we met each other more often recently. despite we met during the time we hang out with friends but i still feeling vr happy and contented. i just don't know why sometimes i not dare to come near you but i want you to be my side. it's confusing. i enjoyed the time we walked side by side or you are in front of me. i remembered that i accidentally stepped ur shoe afterthat we started our conversation during that night. over that night we met after we splited. i really not expected this to happen. at that time i really tot we will not meet again down the end of the street. what a suprise? u reappeared beside me. my heart was smilling but my face showed for ntg.

after that we moved to somewhere 'yum cha'. by the time we settled down i do hope i can sit near you. haiz...but the dining setting is weird, a long table between 2 long benches attached to the wall. the chance for me to sit or move near you was so little. u sat at the far end of me in the same row. we squeezed like 'canned sardins' xD for sure we cant talk coz we were seperated. i was not that comfortable with the limited space. fortunately, we changed to a more spacious one. that time i was thinking where should i sit in order to talk to you. haiz...it was still the same, we ended up sitting far from each other. *disappointed*

*suprise* you suddenly changed place and move to my opposite side. this time u asked me to take pic and i shifted next to you. a weird feeling came in a sudden and making my heart beats faster. i wonder 'what the hell is going on?' 'am i too excited?' maybe this is the side effect of secret crush.

2011-01-20T10:15:00.000-08:00

actually i gt many questions want to ask you. but sometimes i think those questions are silly and lame. coz those questions should not appear and and got me into daze. hopefully, im not thinking too much and leading all the queries popping out one by one.

why sometimes you so care the way i reply ur msg?
actually i didn't mean to be 'fu hin' when i reply ur msg. sometimes i don't want to write too much in the reply msg, coz i think it is not necessary. i don't want to crash my mind to think out of words to reply u. i dont want any stress arise in our conversation. i want it to be natural, naturally happy, naturally interested, naturally enjoyed on what we are talking about. whenever i saw u post on my wall, i feel vr happy. i usually pleased by ur words no matter it is long or short or even as simple as a 'hahaz' or 'lol'. i juz feeling happy to chat with u on fb.

why you ask me smtg personally via inbox but actuallythat is smtg general and common to others?
for example, u ask a question to everyone included me in public but u still ask me personally about the same question at the other side. i will think that am i special to you? why you treat me this way? r u wanting to create a more private space to talk with me? or maybe you do the same to others too and all of these were just im thinking too much.

why you care what i'd talked to you?
i know sometimes the way i talked was hurting u. for example, i disregard ur feelings by saying smtg to chase u away from me and said i don't want to see you. so sorry, i need to say sorry to you upon my reckless act coz i really dono you will care what i'd talked to you. coz i thought u will only think that im not serious and always like to tell jokes. i apologize this would not happen again since i know u care.

i beg to know all the answers above.

wei seng returns

2011-01-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

This blog was neglected 2yrs ago. I didn't update or even log in since the end of 2008. there is something blowing my mind to come back and carry on this blog. i wonder am i going to turn it to a love blog? i wonder how is my part of life going on with passion. so, im going to spread all my feelings out here. seriously, nowadays is hardly to find someone who is truly sincere and be all ears to let me to pour my heart out. sometimes, im doubt that should i tell all these things to friends or just keep it for myself. now, i think one of the best ways which temporarily solve this problem is to blogging.

good bye 2008!

2008-12-20T09:57:00.000-08:00

so fast it comes to the end of 2008!
wow...it's extremely FAST!

now i wonder to recall back all the best things & sweet memories tat happened in my life in 2008.

I've enjoyed all the sweetiest, memorable...& happiest moment as the time keeps flowing
for sure all my huckleberry friends had light up my life in all this year!
i feel tat i'm so lucky tat u guys had gifted a superb friendship to me
& hopefully it can progress further with no end...

my friends...

mei yin................yee lian....................zi hui

....................pei yee.................mei yan.........chen boon

bernard.................................hui jun.........angelina

............................kai zhen.................... jun ming..................wing sze

................yong sin.......................vivian.............ginny

.......................felicia........chee ming.......................anson

kah choon.......................sheryl..................crystal

....................chia voon....................sweet ee.........soon yeng

han jon............................yee lynn..................kah sheng . . . . . . .

. . .

friends who r not written on top ur always in my heart too...

unlimited happiness, laughters, surprises...
we've shared to each other through our sincere friendship...

i do to spend my time gahter v u all to have fun by playing around, joking, make fun, crapping...

but, ur truthfulness had deeply touched my heart

i can feel it when v r face to face to share every thing without covering

*friends, u r my sources of strength!

i'm much much appretiating for ur helps n encourangement when i encountered difficulties and falling into trouble, especially study.

sweet

...memories...

guys, do u still remember our 2008 genting trip?
haha, i think it still fresh in everyone's mind.

28/29th of November, 2008

it was a vr sucessful trip...
it also brought a lot of sweet memories n happiness to us!

this trip had made everyone change their opinion on bernard.

especially mei yin was impressed by his attitude!
it merely happened when v r having dinner in ria apartment.

he helped yin to clean the dining table by sweeping off the food's scrap.

she can't expect nard will lend a helping hand.

haha, this is because yin do not know how to handle the food's scrap!

see...just a small matter can change a view of a person!

after that, we walked together from apartment to first world for

indoor entertainment. we had played bumper car, something lik roller

coaster but not so shock & all the child's play RIDING GAME.

omg! v r so kidult!

even though there was a long queue n have to compete v children but we

really have fun v it!

we had booked for a show called 'Wu Shu' at around 1am.

so, we have fun v games and wait for the show's time.

all the girls suddenly became vr sporting. driving bumper car over n over!(non-stop)

but all the guys included yong sin also, were vr tired n sit on a bench.
there was a funny guy (bernard) straight away slept on the bench!

see...how tired r v? (i mean guys)

1:00 am

we entered the cinema. wow...is damn cold inside!

most of the girls can't stay comfortable in a cold condition.

by the way, pei yee was having a good sleep while showing.

ai yo yo, now she only feel tiring...

when the show is going on, something was happened badly.

O...o...chen boon felt not well n wanna vomit. so, zi hui n I accompanied

her to toilet.

after that, we backed to cinema n sit at the back until the show's end.

after enjoyed the show, we walked back to apartment around 3am.

the air was extremely cold! we cannot stay longer in the air and

suffering along the journey. the most funniest thing were the girl's whole body were

covered by jumpers n jackets and walked lik a crab! the scene was damn cute!!

eh? anybody i've left to mention in this genting trip??

oo..ya! that's is yee lian!

ai ya...i know that he felt so sorry to mei yan that he can't meet her

in tuition and left her alone.

lack of mei yan have made him not in an optimum mood.

haha...but he still enjoying the trip vr much!

ride on a train

bernard & yee lian